The decisions

A handful of thoughtful decisions account for most of what a childhood looks like: when to get the first phone, who owns the tablet, how to navigate tech discussions with your school system. Here's the straight answers, as well as ways to act on them.

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  1. When should our kid get a phone?

    There is no age that flips a switch. Instead, there are questions worth asking, and a few answers most families never consider.

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  2. Where should screens live in the house?

    The most beneficial change costs little, and the evidence behind it is the least disputed in this whole field.

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  3. Should our kid have their own tablet?

    Whose tablet it is turns out to matter more than how long they spend on it, and it is the one thing you can still decide after the tablet is in the house.

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  4. How do we handle video games?

    Not all games are the same thing, and understanding how they make money tells you more than the number of hours your kid spends playing.

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  5. How do we handle YouTube?

    Two problems share one app – the videos themselves and the machine algorithm that picks the next one. Both need to be addressed.

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  6. What about group chats and social apps?

    The hardest decision here, because the cost of saying no is real and lands on your child rather than on you.

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  7. What do they actually do instead?

    The question every other decision on this site depends on, and one that matters.

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  8. What do we do about AI and homework?

    The most common question parents have now, and the one where a blanket rule could fail in either direction.

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  9. What do I do about the laptop my kid's school handed them?

    You did not choose it, you cannot configure most of it, and in August its AI agent turned itself on. But you can advocate for changes.

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  10. How do I keep my kid safe in games that have other players in them?

    The game is rarely the risk; the channel attached to it is, and you can allow one without the other.

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  11. What about my own phone?

    Every rule on this site includes the adults in the small print. This page is where those asides get their reasons, and their own advice.

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  12. How do I get my kid's school to rethink its technology?

    You control the house. The school controls six hours a day. What one parent, or three, can actually change, matched to how far you want to go.

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